


The First 40 Years

by GrimSylphie



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Forgiveness, Gen, M/M, Slice of Life, Team as Family, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25475881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrimSylphie/pseuds/GrimSylphie
Summary: Immortality has a huge learning curve but every year it gets easier. For Nile Freeman she finds having a team of mentors helps her discover she has a new family.Snippets of Nile’s first 40 years of immortality.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 24
Kudos: 401





	The First 40 Years

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my phone because it was just sitting in my head for the past week since watching the movie. 
> 
> At first I considered writing it to comic canon but I felt movie canon would be more appropriate for the later snippets because it leaves Andy as mysterious as ever.

It’s been five years since Nile joined the team the first time Andy sends Joe and Nicky away.

Nile was checking the Facebook account she made under an alias to check in on her family. She had a cousin who was one of those people who would accept anyone as their friend, one of those people who would post their entire life on Facebook. So when she created a fake account using a photo she found on google images it wasn’t hard at all to check in on what her family was doing. Even if she couldn’t be with them she still wanted to be sure they were safe. 

Regardless of the how or the why it was in a safe house in Ukraine between missions that she found out her brother had gotten married. She instantly felt her eyes well up with tears at the thought. She missed her brother’s wedding. She didn’t even know anything about the person he chose to share his life with. He hadn’t even been dating anyone the last time she spoke to him.

She spent the rest of the day looking through the photos. Everyone seemed so happy. She had forgotten how much she missed them. She recalled Booker’s words and wondered if watching them from afar was really any worse than being beside them.

That night when Nicky and Joe danced around each other while preparing dinner, occasionally sharing kisses, glances, or even making lewd sounds when tasting the food the other made Nile couldn’t take it. The love she had found so charming and inspiring. A love that lasted nearly a millennium suddenly made her angry and jealous. She may never have that. She would never even get to see if her brother had that.

She thought she had hidden it well but that night as she stood up to do the dishes Andy spoke up. “Joe, Nicky, you know I love you but if you stay any longer I may kill you both just to get a break from your constant honeymooning. Let’s split up for a bit to allow my stomach to recover. I want Nile to learn more about combat in different terrain anyway. I was thinking we’d go to the Amazon.”

Nile moves towards the sink and started washing dishes. She found it fortuitous that Andy was sick of watching Joe and Nicky too.

Joe laughed. “Ahhh, you’ll miss us soon enough but I certainly won’t complain about a vacation.” Nile could hear him tilt his chair back in such a way that Nicky’s hair would be easier to run his fingers through. It was a position she was all to familiar with observing even if the crusted sauce on the dish before her was currently taking up all her attention. “Besides, if you’re going to the Amazon I am happy to drop out. The bugs there adore Nicoló nearly as much as I do and I don’t enjoy sharing.”

The chair’s feet hit the floor once more and Nile knew from the cutoff moan that Nicky had just pulled Joe in for a kiss. “We’ll leave tomorrow. We haven’t been to Valletta in a bit. We should probably check on the house.” Nicky replied before standing up and pulling Joe into their shared bedroom.

Nile finished washing the dishes and had just started drying when Andy came up beside her, silent as always and started wiping down dishes with a towel of her own.

“Feel free to send them off whenever you get sick of them.” Andy commented nonchalantly. 

Nile looked at her surprised though she wasn’t sure why, it seemed like Andy could read anyone easily.

“Nicky and Joe are, have always been, and will always be hopelessly in love with one another. Sometimes it’s charming but after a while you may find yourself sick of watching them share something you may never have. As much as you may love them, you may also resent them for it.” Andy explained.

Nile looked down at the cup in her hand. “I— I don—“ she tried before Andy cut her off with an icy look.

“Even if you don’t feel it now you will someday. It’s not you’re fault and they won’t blame you for it. They are aware that even among us they are unique. What they have is something most of us may never know and they realize that. They just can’t help who they are. Some separation from time to time isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes you may need space to yourself and they will understand.” Andy finished putting down the last plate they had dried. 

Somehow, even though the pain of missing her family still hurt it felt better knowing this new one understood her.

* * *

Ten years into her immortal life her mom passes. This time she finds out from a long forgotten notification she set up for when her mother or brother’s name appeared in news articles. Her mother’s name was in the obituaries and Nile is inconsolable. 

Andy is still hopeless when it comes to loss. She has not known the loss of family for many years, and even then she sees it as a personal failing, especially with regards to Quynh. She avoids Nile’s gaze and somehow Nile knows it is for the best. 

Nicky and Joe try their best to comfort her but Nile can tell it’s been so long since they have cared for anyone beyond each other and their immortal family. They know how to comfort but cannot understand her loss. They make her some of her favorite foods and take her out to museums to tell her stories of some of the artifacts inside as a way to distract her. They offer to listen and while they nod or laugh at the appropriate times when Nile tells stories of her mother. She can tell they don’t understand the loss.

It isn’t until two weeks after the loss of her mother, after Nile just barely stayed strong enough to resist returning home for a funeral that a letter with heavy postage arrived from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. It was odd because she didn’t know anyone from Canada, much less Winnipeg, but none the less it was clearly addressed to her. It had no return postage on it. She almost threw it out expecting some kind of bomb before recalling she was immortal now and instead took it to the woods so that there wouldn’t be a mess to clean up if it did explode.

Inside she found a letter written on high quality vellum, an aged book clearly written in French and an aged necklace box. The box drew her in for some reason and it wasn’t until she opened it that she discovered why. Inside was a silver necklace her father had gotten her mother when Nile had been born. Her mother wore it to all of the milestone events in Nile’s life birthday parties, proms, graduations, and she always told Nile it was a sign of their bond. That one day Nile would wear it and remember her by it. She never expected to see it again.

She was in tears, crying out loud in the woods where no one would hear. The silent tears that fell when she thought no one was looking replaced by mournful wails as Nile once again felt the pain and loss of her mother but also the joy of having a piece of her she never thought she’d see again. 

By the time she reached for the letter the paper had big drops from her tears that led to the ink bleeding.

_Dear Nile,_

_I am sorry I can’t be there for you because while I love our family I don’t think they can remember the pain and loss of losing your first family any longer. I am sure this is hard for you and I wish I could say it gets easier. It doesn’t. Every time you lose a loved one the wound reopens as you know you will never experience their love again. That being said, the pain fades in time and you recover as you see more and more of the world. Keep that fire alive._

_Now, about the necklace, I may have stolen it from your family home during the funeral. It had your name on the box so I can only hope she meant for it to go to you. I thought about taking the whole jewelry box for you but I know you are not nearly as selfish as I am and would want the rest of your family to have some keepsakes to remember her by as well._

_While I can’t return home to hug you in person for a while yet, I want you to know you aren’t alone and I’m sure the others are doing everything they can to comfort you. They’re shit at it but they mean well. Whenever I found myself drowning in loss I’d drown myself in drinks or a good book. I can’t recommend the former, being a functional alcoholic is less fun than it sounds but I figured I’d send you one of my favorites. Hopefully they taught you to read French by now even if their accents are lacking._

_All my love,  
Sebastien (Booker)_

_P.S. if you need anything ask Andy for the Paris postage box info. I’ll pick up messages there._

Nile put the letter down and found herself crying again. This time she couldn’t help but laugh as she cried. Booker was a shadow that had haunted her for the last ten years. The missing piece of a puzzle. Nicky and Joe were still too angry to mention him and while Andy seemed more forgiving she didn’t care to bring him up either.

Now here he was, a man she had only known for a few short days sending her the things she needed most and providing comfort that none of the others could. He had given her something priceless back and she couldn’t even see him to thank him in person because he got himself exiled

Nile wipes away her tears and put the necklace around her neck. Then she folded the letter and placed it in the weathered pages of the book.

It would seem she would have to start writing letters of her own.

* * *

At 20 years Nile could feel things go through a shift. Andy was getting older and could no longer join them on some of the more dangerous missions. That meant more time playing third wheel to Nicky and Joe. 

At first Nile was nervous. There was a whole list of things Andy still wanted her to learn. She could only speak four languages, and most of them were just passable or conversational. It was way more than she ever expected to know and somehow way less than felt adequate. 

Nicky and Joe seemed to take pride in taking her on the road with them and teaching her without Andy’s watchful eyes.

“We love Andy, but not everyone can live like her. You must find your own path to feel fulfilled or your life will have no purpose.” Nicky told her once when they settled in Florence for the winter between missions in an apartment in the old city they had kept since the 1400s by passing it down to themselves using aliases every fifty years or so. 

They were there so Joe could do some restoration work at Palazzo Vecchio. Apparently one of his aliases was involved in the art world and every few years they’d stop so Joe could restore a painting or two using the techniques of the age. 

She would often wander the market with Nicky in the morning when they picked up fresh produce or meats. Then she’d watch as he cooked and baked through the day. They’d speak Italian so Nile could practice though at this point she rarely searched for words.

In the evening Joe would come home his arms covered in paint and Nicky would kiss him with his nose still covered in flour or sauce. Joe would tell her stories from their past over dinner while Nicky added commentary where necessary. It was often idyllic.

It made her realize that while Joe and Nicky seemed to live life with a joy that Andy and Booker didn’t it also meant they had far more to lose because they had someone they couldn’t live without.

She would occasionally see Nicky praying and once heard him ask that he not be parted with Joe. She had seen both of them wake up screaming as memories of past deaths and destruction haunted their dreams. 

One morning Nicky failed to get out of bed and Joe stayed home and took his place at the market. Nile couldn’t find the courage to ask but it turned out she didn’t have to. Joe knew. “He has nightmares of The Great War. Chemical warfare is one of the cruelest tortures humans have designed.”

“World War I? What happened?” Nile asked before she could stop herself. 

Joe shook his head. “There was a village too close to the lines. We were helping evacuate it. We thought we had everyone out but apparently someone’s child had been hiding and was left behind. My sweet Nicoló went back to find the child while we took the rest to safety but he got caught up in a mustard gas attack. He gave his mask to the child so that they might survive.” 

Nile winced. She had seen pictures of soldiers who had been hit with mustard gas in his history book. 

“It killed him. Many times. First because he breathed it in and then as the gas dissipated he was able to get return to us but the exposure caused him to die once more, his face and arms blistered and swollen.“ Joe explained, a tear coming to his eye. “It was torture to watch him go through that and be unable to help. Spending a millennia with Nicoló is my greatest gift but watching him suffer and knowing that nothing can be done is worse.” 

They walked home from the market in silence and Nile felt a new appreciation for the older immortals. They seemed to live their immortal life to the fullest but it also meant they had the most to lose each and every time they entered the battlefield.

“Watching Yusuf and die is a torture beyond any of my own deaths but waking up to a new day with the other half of my soul makes it all worth it.” Nicky tells her a few days later.

* * *

It takes 40 years before it happens. 

It starts when Nile returns to the house Andy’s been living in for the past five years. Andy’s older now and traveling around is no longer necessary. She does it from time to time out of habit but as her body ages she seems to settle in the same spot for longer and longer.

Nile comes in from a run to find Nicky and Joe speaking in hushed voices at the small kitchen table with the mail sitting next to them. It’s a common scene but instead of their normal casual touches they’re tense and appear to be debating something in a mixture of old regional dialects of what would become Italian and Arabic, that even Andy admits to struggling to follow. She hears Booker mentioned and the reason why becomes clear when she sees this month’s package has arrived.

For the past thirty years she and Booker had been pen pals of sorts. He would send her books and letters and she would return with letters of her own telling him her thoughts and asking advice on her immortal quandaries when the others couldn’t offer advice. The package on the table had Booker’s elegant handwriting. While no one ever commented on the packages it was obvious they knew and had always known who they were from so she wasn’t sure why Nicky and Joe were discussing it now in hushed voices. 

Nile chose to ignore it, instead planning to show off the sweets she had found at the new bakery to Andy. 

It becomes a habit over the next few days. Nile comes in from wherever she had been for the day (today she had a cooking class) to find Nicky and Joe discussing Booker in their own little language of mixed terms and phrases. She can’t understand much. Occasionally Andy’s name or the number one hundred. It’s obvious by the third day that their discussing his exile but to what conclusion she is unsure. She mentions it to Andy, and her lips turn up in a smirk. Andy now looks the part of elegant and timeless matriarch with her wrinkles, crow’s feet, and grey hair. Nile can only hope she looks as good when she eventually gets the chance to age.

The next night at dinner Andy makes an announcement. “Nile, tomorrow, could you please pick Booker up at the airport? His flight gets in at 16:00 so he should make it through customs by the time you are on your way home.” 

She says it so nonchalantly and Nicky and Joe look at one another for a second before turning their gaze to Andy. “You two are ready to accept him back, I won’t keep him waiting just because you aren’t sure if I am.” 

The hushed conversations suddenly made more sense to Nile. Nicky and Joe had mentioned Booker more often in the last five years, the hole his betrayal left finally seemed to be healing. Joe started “We didn’t want to assume...”

Nicky followed. “He betrayed all of us and we’re still not sure ending his sentence early teaches the right lesson.”

“Based on my talk with him yesterday he’s more than learned it. Booker doesn’t do well alone, we all know that. He’s still young, his original sentence would have been a third of his immortal life. I think getting this time to think taught him more than our tutelage could.” Andy replied.

Joe and Nicky both looked wary. Joe spoke up. “He hurt us. Nicky and I might have been locked up and separated. It’s hard to forgive.” 

Nicky reached across the table and entwined his hand with Joe’s. “At some point keeping him away become cruel. We discussed it a lot and we understand his motivations even though we disagree with his methods. We want him home if you think he’s learned.”

Nile smiled. “That’s great! We’ll get the gang back together then?” 

Joe smiled somewhat hesitantly. “I suppose it’s time.” His eyes grew determined. “If it happens again though...” 

Andy smiled. “I’m sure you can work out the consequences when he arrives.” 

And with that it was done.

Nile picked up Booker the next day. He looked exactly as Nile remembered but he smelled far less like vodka when he leaned in and hugged her. “I missed you. It’s great to see you in person.”

“I missed you too. Thanks for the book. I didn’t get a chance to write back yet.” She laughed. She had only known him in person for a few days but after 30 years of advice on how to be a young immortal Nile’s bond with him was strong.

“No problem! I’m here now.” He got on the back of Nile’s motorbike and wrapped his arms around her.

They were quiet for the drive in though that probably had more to do with the roar of the engine than anything else.

When they arrived at Andy’s modest house a few miles outside of the village. Booker gave her a look. “So should I be prepared for a violent welcome from Joe and Nicky?” 

Nile looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. “I honestly don’t know. I think it changes hour to hour.” 

It turned out Joe and Nicky has decided dinner was a more appropriate greeting. “Booker you bastard we missed you!” Joe shouted from the kitchen when they walked in the door. 

“Not half as much as I missed you I’m sure.” Joe nodded.

“Go wash up. We decided dinner would be more appropriate than getting blood on Andy’s hardwood floors.” Nicky chimes in. “Dinner will be ready in a half hour.”

“Yes sir.” Booker saluted and went in search of the bathroom and a private conversation with Andy. 

Nile wasn’t sure what they spoke about but it took nearly two hours for them to come down. Joe and Nicky seemed to expect it though and dinner was as hot and fresh as ever once they finally sat down. Their little family together again if only for a short time.

**Author's Note:**

> I considered writing Booker’s return a lot but I think despite how much he screwed things up he probably can provide Nile with a viewpoint that the others don’t have given how old they are. I also think that while Nicky and Joe won’t forgive so easily, in the end Booker is family and keeping him away for what would be a third of his immortal life by the time the sentence finished would do more harm than good.


End file.
